Christmas Dysfunction

About a month ago, USA Today ran a cover story in their “Life” section called “Christmas, wrapped in dysfunction.”  A tag line they used was “Family dysfunction is the gift that keeps on giving at the movies.”  Then they went on and ranked some of the classic Christmas movies by a family dysfunction level with 10 being the worst.  They rated “Miracle on 34th Street” as a 6 out of 10, because it portrays a humorless divorcee who tells her precocious daughter that there is no Santa Claus.  “A Christmas Story” (one of my personal favorites) is rated as a 7 out of 10 based on the story line that “the eldest son wants to play with guns.  The youngest barely speaks.  The mother thinks a mouth full of soap is the solution to all discipline problems.  And Dad is hopelessly unhandy, swears like a sailor and is way too fond of a lamp that looks like a…leg.”

What intrigued me as I read those descriptions of the dysfunction levels of these make-believe families is that they aren’t make believe!  That’s why so many people can identify with them!  In fact, if you were to describe your family and what you’ll be doing for Christmas, I imagine it could be even more interesting than a humorless divorcee and a father who likes a lamp leg!  

Have you ever wondered what Joseph and Mary’s families may have been like?

The Bible has little to say about their families, but it’s the silence that has always intrigued me.  Besides the genealogical descriptions of Jesus in Matthew 1 and Luke 3 there’s no mention of Mary’s or Joseph’s parents.  There’s no explanation as to why there’s an apparent absence of family support at the birth of Jesus.  I mean, Mary gives birth in a stable.  No mother is around.  No other family members show up that we know of.  Only some  shepherds visit and sometime later some wise men pop in from the East.  The only time we see any family support is when Mary visits her relative Elizabeth in Luke 1.  But the word that’s used for their relationship is pretty vague and simply means “kinswoman.”  Jesus and John the Baptist (Elizabeth’s son) are considered cousins, but there’s nothing conclusive as far as whether they’re first, second or distant cousins.  And why does Mary visit her relative Elizabeth in the first place?  She finds out she’s pregnant and Luke 1:39 says she gets ready and hurries to a town in the hill country of Judea where she stays with Elizabeth and Elizabeth’s husband Zechariah for three months (Lk. 1:56).

The lack of explanation and the silence are overwhelming.  When we start adding some things up, it appears–understandably so–that Mary’s and Joseph’s families probably didn’t buy into this whole “getting-pregnant-by-God-thing.”  

All of this sounds pretty dysfunctional, doesn’t it?  An unexplainable pregnancy, the pregnant girl running off to a relative’s house out in the country.  Nothing is mentioned about her wedding except that Joseph took her as his wife (Mt. 1:24).  Joseph and Mary are in an out-of-the-way stable where the baby is born, with no other family around (that we know of).  And who are the first guests to see the Baby?  Strangers.

Herein lies the beauty of the Gospel message: God chose to take on human flesh in the midst of dysfunction.  God understands the problems of our families, and He enters our lives to redeem them.  Jesus doesn’t wait until we get our act (or our family’s act) together and then come to us.  ”While we were yet sinners, Jesus died for us” (Romans 5:8).  

What a beautiful truth to hold onto this Christmas season, especially when you’re visiting family.  You love them, but you’re also glad Christmas only comes once a year (and they probably are, too)! 

Whatever the dysfunction of your family this Christmas, don’t give up on them.  After all, God didn’t give up on you.  God can redeem any dysfunction including our own dysfunction of sin.  So you may experience some Christmas dysfunction this year.  Most things don’t work out the way we want them to.  But that’s o.k., because Jesus can enter our life, our family, and our dysfunction and redeem them.  ”The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us” (John 1:14).  Merry Christmas, even if it is dysfunctional!